Marinating In June!
And here we go folks!!! It’s here and let’s make it count! The kids have soccer, we have church, Tammy has a recital, there is a family reunion in Pennsylvania, somebody planned a wedding in New Somewhere… It happens this time of the year, every year.
The Non-Boating Humans want to take as much of our “we should be out boating” weekends up. They sit all winter conniving and contemplating ways to get us out into the countryside and away from our favorite dock bars. Fourth of July Weekend, the biggest weekend of the whole boating year and your niece has planned a destination wedding at a dude ranch in New Mexico! We are just gonna have to pull a Nancy Reagan and JUST SAY NO!
The Non-Boating Humans hate to see happy people out on their boats. NBH’s (a family member you wanted to spend time with) will show up on your boat, not bring anything at all, not help with the fuel bill, drink your best scotch and when you sit down at one of the great waterfront restaurants not buy the first round! Not only that, when you get the guest check they will grab the check, get out their calculator total everyone’s bill up, tell you or me, we owe seventy-five dollars, grab everybody’s cash then pay with a credit card. When you get back to the docks and not even help you with your lines. (Well actually that’s the nicest thing they did all day.
Think twice about the NBH’s!
NBH’s and Bananas! Some of us in the boating community think it a bad idea to take bananas on a boat. Yes, it is probably superstition, but I still don’t do it. So, the Non-boating human you brought onto your boat today brought in their bag a half dozen bananas.
What could possibly go wrong?
So… Corned Fish And Cabbage…
The Explanation Part 2!
They are now selling Plant- Based Meat? “Hey, check out the plant meat… It doesn’t even taste like plant!” This plant tastes like real meat! It takes a whole lot of unhealthy stuff to make this perfectly good plant taste like some perfectly delicious meat! I was pondering these things over dinner the other night with some friends as we enjoyed a few New York Strips and a great Garden Salad. Why would anybody want to make meat out of plants? Do you think vegetarians wake up in the morning craving a burger and say to themselves “I think I will drive Burger King today and buy me one of those BS Burgers?”
A few years ago, for a special occasion I made Meat based plant! Now that was wonderful!
I took a few different delicious kinds of meat and made them look like plants! And I can tell you… My meat-based plants did not even taste like plants.
So, if it doesn’t taste like fish what does it taste like? Does snakehead fish taste like snake head? Does catfish taste like cat? Meow… Watch your teeth, it might not taste like much but don’t eat rock fish! Can you imagine the hairdo on a Mullet? How holy is a Monkfish? How much fun could you have with a Red Snapper? Hmmm… A sturgeon or a Swordfish? Now… here is another “IT DOESN’T TASTE LIKE”
Now we are talking! Ummm, next up Nut Milk!!! Part three!
The Taxi Ride
Captain Tony had just retired from a great life of seaman shipping and storytelling. He had one taxi ride to the airport and a long plane ride from Italy home for it to be complete. He hailed a Taxi and one stopped for him. A few minutes into the ride Captain Tony tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped
inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, “Look, Captain, don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!”
Captain Tony apologized and said, “I didn’t realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replied, “Sorry, it’s not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver — I’ve been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years!!!
